In Episode 529 of Fishing Without Bait, behavioral health therapist Jim Ellermeyer sits down with Producer Mike for a return to the fundamental ideas that have shaped the podcast through more than 500 episodes.

At the center of the conversation is a simple relationship between expectations and serenity:

“The greater your expectations, the lower your serenity. The lower your expectations, the greater your serenity.”

Jim and Mike explore the difference between setting rigid expectations and setting intentions. An expectation can turn life into a pass/fail exercise where anything short of a particular outcome feels like failure. An intention gives us direction while allowing us to remain present, curious, and responsive to what actually happens.

That leads to another question Mike asks himself: “What am I working so hard to get to?”

Jim's answer is equally simple: “There is no there.”

The conversation expands into emotional honesty and the ways people avoid uncomfortable truths. Jim challenges the automatic response of telling everyone we're “good” when we aren't—including situations where honesty with doctors, loved ones, recovery peers, or ourselves could make a meaningful difference.

They also discuss the 12-step idea that “it's our secrets that keep us sick,” the discomfort involved in confronting fears and resentments, and the tendency to keep “kicking the emotional can down the road” instead of dealing with what is immediately in front of us.

Mindfulness, as Jim and Mike describe it, isn't escaping daily life or spending hours in meditation. It is practical:

Paying attention on purpose.

It's pausing before reacting. Questioning assumptions. Making choices based on facts instead of beliefs. Recognizing how our words and actions affect others. And allowing our words to pass through three important gates:

Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?

The episode closes by returning to impermanence and non-attachment. Everything and everyone in our lives is shared with us temporarily. Rather than making life meaningless, that understanding can make the present more valuable.

We don't live by years, months, weeks, days, or hours.

We live by moments.

Make this one count.

Continue the Journey

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https://www.lulu.com/shop/james-ellermeyer-lpc-ma-ncc-lpc/learn-to-fish-without-bait/paperback/product-6n9rd8.html?page=1&pageSize=4

In Fishing Without Bait Episode 527, Jim Ellermeyer sits down with longtime co-host and Producer Mike to explore Buddhism not as an unreachable ideal, but as a practical way of approaching everyday life.

Being awake doesn't mean being perfect. It means noticing what is happening around us, recognizing what is happening within us, and becoming more intentional about what we do next.

That leads Jim and Mike into a discussion about living on autopilot. Jim even brings up the longtime Western swing band Asleep at the Wheel as a playful connection to the idea of “sleepwalking through life.” How many days do we simply go through the motions without really participating?

Learn more about Asleep at the Wheel:
https://www.asleepatthewheel.com/

The conversation moves through compassion, boundaries, time, emotional reactions, expectations, and the Buddhist “middle path.” Jim reminds us that compassion does not mean becoming a doormat. We can care about other people while still deciding where our time, effort, and resources belong.

Jim and Mike also explore non-attachment and the expectations we place on our future. Wanting a new job, a different career, a bigger house, or another version of life isn't inherently wrong—but suffering can begin when we convince ourselves that those outcomes must happen.

That discussion leads Mike back to the spoken-word track “Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen),” a piece that has stayed with him since his teenage years. He reflects on its message about the role chance plays in our choices: sometimes things work, sometimes they don't, and we don't have to spend our lives regretting a road that didn't lead where we expected.

Listen to “Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen)”:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTJ7AzBIJoI

Throughout the episode, Jim and Mike return to one central idea: mindfulness creates a space between what happens and how we respond. In that space, we can make a choice instead of reacting automatically.

The challenge for this week is simple: stop trying to become perfect. Work on becoming more awake.

Observe. Describe. Participate. And take the next step.

Subscribe to Fishing Without Bait on your favorite podcast player.

Support Fishing Without Bait and receive ad-free episodes:
https://www.patreon.com/c/fishingwithoutbait

Pick up “Learn to Fish Without Bait: A 365-Day Mindfulness Journal and Adult Coloring Book”:
https://www.lulu.com/shop/james-ellermeyer-lpc-ma-ncc-lpc/learn-to-fish-without-bait/paperback/product-6n9rd8.html?page=1&pageSize=4

Part 2 dives deeper into the discipline and mindset that shaped Shane’s life. He reflects on learning to “play the film all the way through,” weighing consequences instead of chasing short-term gratification. Shane discusses burnout, stepping away from mixed martial arts, and the emotional toll of working in a system that no longer aligned with his values.

The conversation explores the difference between a risk and a gamble, why doing nothing can be the biggest risk of all, and how betting on yourself—when done with clarity and integrity—can lead to meaningful change. Shane also shares powerful insights on separating people from behaviors, personal responsibility, and choosing purpose over financial comfort.

This episode is a grounded, honest look at growth, regret, and the courage it takes to walk away from a life that’s no longer serving you.

Call to Action:
Subscribe to Fishing Without Bait on your favorite podcast player.
Support ad-free episodes on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/fishingwithoutbait
Pick up our book Learn to Fish Without Bait: A 365-Day Mindfulness Journal and Adult Coloring Book:
https://www.lulu.com/shop/james-ellermeyer-lpc-ma-ncc-lpc/learn-to-fish-without-bait/paperback/product-6n9rd8.html?page=1&pageSize=4

This episode centers on listening — to ourselves, to others, and to the deeper awareness that helps us release fear, judgment, and mental clutter. Jim Ellermeyer and Santina discuss compassion, choice points, and the stories we hold onto, as well as the freedom that comes from letting them go.

Through reflection and shared experience, this conversation invites listeners to slow down, practice mindfulness, and approach life with greater understanding and non-judgment.

🎧 Subscribe to Fishing Without Bait on your favorite podcast player
❤️ Support the show with ad-free episodes on Patreon:
https://www.patreon.com/c/fishingwithoutbait
📘 Pick up our book Learn to Fish Without Bait: A 365-Day Mindfulness Journal and Adult Coloring Book:
https://www.lulu.com/shop/james-ellermeyer-lpc-ma-ncc-lpc/learn-to-fish-without-bait/paperback/product-6n9rd8.html?page=1&pageSize=4